Funny Jokes to Enjoy

Below are some Filipino (pinoy) jokes including Erap jokes you'll surely enjoy.

Guess what…
Erap: Can you guess my good personality trait? It starts with letter A.
Jinggoy: approachable?
Erap: Wrong
Jinggoy: amiable?
Erap: Wrong
Jinggoy: Ok, I give up! What is it?
Erap: Anest

Patient: Doc, why is my head surgery done this way? Anyone can almost see my brain.
Doctor: Because your wife said that you are close minded whenever you quarrel with each other, so now you are open minded.

Doctor: For your health, take only a cup of rice, lean meat, and a saucer of spinach, then, fruits for dessert and lots of juice.
Fat guy: Doc, shall I take them before or after meals?


Kodigo (cheat sheet in English)
A student was caught having kodigo during exams.
Teacher: What’s this?
Student: It’s my prayer, ma’am!
Teacher: Why are answers to the exams written in here?
Student: Oh, my prayers were answered!


Bragging with each other…
Alan: My dog is great! He brings the newspaper to me every morning.
Cesar: I know.
Alan: How did you know?
Cesar: My dog tells me.


WHO'S GUILTY?
Wife dreaming in the middle of the night suddenly shouts, 'Quick, my husband is back!'
Man gets up, jumps out the window and realizes, 'Oops! I AM the husband!'.

Noli: How’s your assignment?
Lino: It’s bad. I got no answer. I submitted a blank paper.
Noli: Same here. They might think we copied from each other?

Ton: My dream is to earn $20,000 monthly like my dad.
Ace: Wow! Your dad earns that much?
Ton: No! That’s also his dream!

Jinggoy: What’s the difference between H2O and CO2?
Erap: Gosh! Don’t you know? H2O means water, while CO2 means… cold water!


Two friends (Jim and Raul) wonder if there’s basketball in heaven. They agreed that whoever dies first will come back to confirm it. Jim died first then one day visited Raul.
Raul: What can you say? Is there basketball in heaven?
Jim: I have good and bad news for you. Good news is there’s basketball. Bad news is… you will play with us tomorrow! (ngek!)

Waiter: Do you want a drink, miss?
Customer: What are my choices?
Waiter: Yes or No.


Advantage and disadvantage of having a wife or husband...
ADVANTAGE: Always there when you need him/her.
DISADVANTAGE: Still there when you don’t want him/her anymore!


Son: Dad, my teacher asked what’s your profession?
Dad: Tell her I’m a cardiologist.
Son: What is a cardiologist, dad?
Dad: One who repairs car radios!

Che: Why are you sad?
Lyn: My sister got mad at me.
Che: Why?
Lyn: I forgot it’s her birthday today.
Che: What’s wrong with that?
Lyn: The bad thing is… we are TWINS!